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It's 17,000 BC and Transformers were already on Earth. Doing what, we're not sure, but that guy doesn't look so friendly.
We're then brought to present day (2 years after the events of the last movie). Since then Josh Duhamel and Tyrese have been brought into a new sect of our military (NEST) to deal with the ongoing battle between Autobots and Decepticons. They are currently in Shanghai and we are immediately in the middle of a fight.
Back at home Sam Witwicky (Shia Labeouf) is leaving for college and refuses to let long distance end his relationship with uber hot Mikaela (Megan Fox). While putting a care package together for her, Sam finds a shard of the allspark. He touches it, which does something unknown to Sam, and then drops it turning his kitchen into an army of angry appliances. Bumblebee to the rescue and another fight ensues.
Meanwhile up in space, a Decepticon has taken control of one of our satellites and is listening into all the right conversations. Like the one where we give away the locations of Megatron and another allspark shard.
And that is the first ten. First off, anyone who enjoyed the first movie will have fun with this one as well. Michael Bay is excellent at doing the same but different (Hollywood's definition of a sequel). I tried to keep an explosion count for the first ten but I lost track, which should give you an idea as to the amount of explosions in the entire film. This movie won't win Best Film or Acting awards, but its SFX are extremely entertaining. There seemed to be more jokes in this one, which personally I didn't mind so much as it makes nice use of a down moment before something blows up. There's plenty of new Autobots and Decepticons, so I won't give anything away there, but I can tell you there are no I repeat NO Dinobots. Let's hope it stays that way in Transformers 3: The Search For Michael Bay's Replacement.
Dude, where's the groom?
The movie starts out with a wedding that's in its last moments of preparation. The bride doesn't look happy as there are no groomsmen to be found. That's when they get the phone call. The guys are calling from the middle of the desert, and they don't have the groom. Rewind to 2 days earlier and this is where the story begins. Doug (Justin Bartha aka Riley from the National Treasure movies) is getting married and the Father in Law (Jeffrey Tambor) is happy to let his new son drive his prized possession of a car (think Ferris Bueler's Day Off) to Vegas for the bachelor party, with the strict instructions not to let anyone else drive it, including his own son Allen.
We then get introduced to Doug's 3 best friends. Allen (Zach Galifianakis), the bride's brother, is a total nutjob. We learn that he wears a jockstrap wherever he goes, might be a pedophile, and is definitely suicidal all in the first couple minutes of the movie. Phil (Bradley Cooper, who's played other assholes such as Sack from Wedding Crashers) is a teacher that steals his students' money for his trip to Vegas, and Stu (Ed Helms from The Office) is a dentist that has already signed over his balls to his girlfriend so he has to lie about going to Vegas.
Once in Vegas, Phil opts for a bigger room and bullies Stu into coughing up his credit card (which the succubus will be monitoring vigorously), and Allen wonders if this is the real Ceasar's Palace...as in the one Ceasar lived in. They go up to the roof, take some shots of Jager, and Allen gives a great speech about his new Wolf pack. The next scene the guys wake up in their hotel room, except the place is a mess. There's a chicken running around, Stu lost a tooth, there's a tiger in the bathroom, Doug is nowhere to be found, there's a baby in the closet, and they can't remember a thing about last night.
And that is the first ten. This is a Todd Philips movie, so you can expect the same kind of humor from Old School and Road trip. I couldn't stop laughing in this movie but I'm still not sure it deserves a sequel.
They say you can learn a lot about a story from the first ten pages. So why do movie reviews have to give away the whole movie? The idea here is simple: I give you a rundown of the first ten minutes of a movie to give you a sense if you like it or not. This way you still get all the surprises of a good movie you know nothing about without having to take that $10 shot in the dark. All movies are not created equal, so I'll review the movie up to the first major setback: the inciting incident.
